Excerpts from Our Beloved

Excerpt 1

A fictional scene from the Premortal Grand Council. Father is speaking:

“Our deepest yearning is that each of you might be filled with a fullness of joy! Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into your hearts, the things we have prepared for those who love us; for if you love us, you will keep our commandments. And behold, the commandments will lead you to our greatest gift, even Life Eternal! You cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for we will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours! 

“You have all been taught concerning these things … that in due time, if you keep your sacred covenants and rebel not, becoming pure and innocent through the atoning blood which shall be shed for you, your spirits will be clothed in physical tabernacles of flesh and bone, as those you see we have.”

Mother then said, “Verily, dear children, that day draweth near! You know that you must leave us for a short season … to experience life in a fallen, temporal world. Despite its relative brevity, your mortal journey will be a crucial point in your eternity. It will be designed specifically and very personally for you, a catalyst of sorts that will propel you toward exaltation.

“Father will bless you beforehand; yea, each of you shall receive your Father’s blessing. In it He will foreshadow your mortality and reveal unto you many of the trials, opportunities, and blessings that await you. Each one of you will be foreordained or foredesignated to accomplish specific purposes, render significant acts of service, and do much good in your lives; but you must choose light over darkness and love over selfishness.

“From your vantage point in this premortal world, your mortal pathway will seem clear; but you will leave us cloaked in a veil of forgetfulness. On earth you must take the Holy Spirit for your guide. By this means your faith will develop and your agency will be made perfect.”

Father then said, “A fullness of joy cannot be gained without first experiencing sorrow, bereavement, loss, disappointment, rejection, pain, and finally death. You have all been carefully tutored in these matters; yet hereafter, from your temporal perspective, they will seem harsher and more difficult to comprehend.”

Father paused and looked over the vast congregation. His familiar, warm smile appeared, adding to the supernal glow of His countenance. “Nevertheless, my beloved children, be of good cheer! As you face these ordeals, I will be by your side. Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For behold, I will give unto you line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom and find happiness, even in mortality; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, ‘We have enough,’ will be taken away even that which they have.

“Your very nature will become more divine as you face the significant challenges and rich experiences of earth life. Verily I say unto you, you shall find great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures of understanding. Compassion, humility, sacrifice … faith, hope and charity … strength and great joy await you, my dear sons and daughters!”

Excerpt 2

Gilles was charming and helpful, a real draw for Carrefour. He even called his regulars by their first names, giving the giant hypermarché the ambiance of an old neighborhood grocery store. People always asked for him and managers applauded his energy and attitude. But each evening as Gilles left the store, he sank into a melancholy that remained with him until work began the next morning. Through the weeks and now months since Émile’s death, he had spent most nights alone, rarely speaking with anyone.

This Tuesday morning on his way to Carrefour, as he descended the escalator at La Défense, memories of Monday were flooding his mind. He had spent most of it with his mother, just talking and eating. She had a lot to say these days about faith and love and death. Dominique was trying to be brave at the loss of her son; but in reality, Émile’s demise had reopened deep wounds that the passage of time had only superficially healed.

“I don’t know Maman (Mom) … maybe there is a place where we go when we die … where we’ll be with Papa and Émile again.” Sitting at the kitchen table, Gilles poured himself another glass of wine. “Maybe there is a better home for us than this God-forsaken world …” he took a quick taste of his drink, “where brothers are crushed under drunk men’s cars and fathers are ravaged by cancer.”

“There is! I’m sure of it!” Dominique grabbed her son’s arm, squeezed it, and looked straight into his eyes. “I keep telling you, Papa’s still with us! Many, many times I’ve felt him near me … like he’s watching over us.”

“I wish I’d feel something.” Gilles turned his head, picked up his glass, and gulped. He patted his mother’s hand, stood, and walked slowly toward an open window. After staring outside for an instant he confessed, “I guess I do feel something … I feel sad. Very sad.”

Dominique looked up at him, quickly wiping a tear; but neither spoke for several moments. She was praying for words that would comfort her beloved son, and he was trying to calm the distressing storm in his chest. At last, she stood and stepped toward him. “Where’s your faith, Gilles?” She spoke softly, gazing deep into his clear, brown eyes, searching for it. “When you were a boy you believed!” Gilles said nothing. He was looking at his mother, but his eyes seemed far away.

“Mon cher, I know what you’re feeling; it’s been so hard.” She wrapped her arms around him and whispered, “Please find your faith! It will help! It’s soothing … it will give you hope. I know! It gives me hope!”

“But Maman,” Gilles pulled back, shaking his head, “I don’t understand … if God has prepared a better place for us, why doesn’t he just take us there … right now? Does he enjoy watching everyone suffer? Think of all the people who are dying of hunger … or diseases that could be cured, all because of selfishness and greed! And what about all the children who are being abused … why doesn’t he stop that? There’s so much hatred and racism, so many wars and terrorists!” Gilles looked at his mother, feeling hopeless, desperate, trying to understand. “With all the disasters that wreak havoc in the lives of innocent people, how can you say God cares at all about us? I mean, what kind of God is he … seeing so many people in agony and simply ignoring it? Certainly not a loving one. Frankly, I think that no God is better than an uncaring, neglectful God.”

“Gilles, Gilles,” Dominique spoke with earnest eyes and animated hands, “You’re trying to find God in your head … but He’s not there. He’s in your heart! I can’t answer your questions. I don’t know why our family’s been torn apart. But I do feel God’s love; and He’s not ignoring me! Émile’s accident was awful … a nightmare for both of us, just like when Papa died.” Dominique paused and looked again into her son’s eyes. “It spins around in me and sometimes it makes me crazy. But while I was going through the worst of it, when the pain was unbearable, I sensed God’s presence … I received His comfort.” She ran her fingers through Gilles’ hair, just as she had done when he was little, smiling reassuringly.

Excerpt 3

“Dear Lord, where can I hide?” Briskly walking through an aisle of men’s suits, Gilles spotted les cabines d’essayage (the fitting rooms). “Ça y est! (That’s it!)” Looking over the crowd for an instant before entering, Gilles saw no sign of Mark. He raced past the attendant to the end of the corridor and hid in a cubical, sweat pouring from his face. “Did he recognize me? How does he know I heard anything? Damn!” Gilles felt like he might vomit. “What if he saw me come in here? I’d be cornered!” He sat down, shut his eyes, and took a deep breath. “Calm down! I’ve got to calm down. He’s not going to do anything … he can’t hurt me. Non, pas ici. (No, not here.) Too many people. If he does find me, he’ll just threaten me. I’ll promise not to say a word. I’ll swear to it … but I’ll have to tell the police! How could I live with myself if I didn’t? What will happen to me? What if they kidnap me? Please Lord, please, don’t let him find me.”

Voices interrupted his thoughts, and he heard footsteps. His mind was racing. “Okay. Relax. It’s probably just some guy with a pair of pants to try on.” Surely the attendant would not allow anyone to bother him. Maybe it was the attendant walking his way. Of course, he hadn’t checked in with her. She would want to speak with him, or put his name on a list or something. But she had hardly looked up, moments earlier, as he ran right past her. If she didn’t care then, why would she care … someone rattled the door. Gilles stopped breathing, pulled his feet up to his lap, and tried to suppress the impulse to cry out. A forceful hit against the partitions caused them to shake; the door flew open and a man burst in, smiling widely.

“Hello, Gilles.” He reached back and shut the door without shifting his gaze. “Too bad you heard all that.” Pulling a 9mm Baby Glock with suppressor from inside his vest, he quickly extended his arms, squared his shoulders, and aimed straight at Gilles’ forehead.

Excerpt 4

“I hope life goes on forever, but I can’t even begin to imagine the implications of it. You know? A hundred billion years from now, if we’re still alive, what will life be like? Will we still be a family and love each other? Will anything fascinate us after we’ve lived that long?”

“Katie, the way I understand it, we’ve already lived that long!” Ryan thought for a few seconds and added, “Even though most of it was probably as ‘intelligences,’ and who knows what that was like.”

“I’ve already lived for billions of years!” Katie blew out air. “There goes my mind spinning again!” And then she had a thought. “Maybe that’s one reason for the veil of forgetfulness … so we can experience all of life’s wonders in a refreshing new way.”

“Wow! I’ve never thought about that before! Interesting! It’s like … an exhilarating … tender mercy … woven into the fabric of the veil!” Ryan was silent for a moment, pondering Katie’s perceptiveness and feeling the pleasure of a new insight.

“You know, since time and space and life are infinite, there must be an infinite number of fascinating discoveries to be made along the way! And yes, we will still be a family and we will still love each other a hundred billion years from now! So, in addition to space, time, life, and fascinating discoveries, we should add love to our list of infinite things. That’s what temples are all about.”

“Yeah. Love. If anything can go on forever, it should be love.” Katie took a deep breath and wondered how much of her heart she wanted to share. She felt closer to her father than she had in a long time, and really wanted to confide in him.

Excerpt 5

Notre-Dame Cathedral was all lit up, its two majestic towers shining brightly against the nighttime Parisian sky. Elders Lewis and Collins parked their bikes next to a short, wrought iron fence across from the magnificent Catholic edifice. Walking onto Pont au Double (a cast-iron pedestrian bridge) they gazed along the Seine River’s illuminated embankment, searching for their phantom investigator. Not seeing anyone, they turned back and descended some old cement steps to a river’s-edge, cobbled walkway: La Promenade Maurice Carême. Making their way along the picturesque path, scrutinizing every shadow, the earnest elders were beginning to lose hope.

“Just like I thought,” Elder Collins said, “it was a prank. No one’s here. Let’s go.”

“Not so fast, Elder. We’re five minutes early.”

“Okay. But I really don’t think anyone’s coming.” They stopped and looked again, up and down the deserted riverbank, on both sides of the Seine, but not a soul was in sight. It was now nine thirty-five, and Elder Collins again expressed his desire to go home.

“We can go in a few minutes … but let’s give this person the benefit the doubt. I still think the note might be legit.”

Elder Collins glanced up. They were approaching another flight of stairs that ascended to Le Petit Pont (The Little Bridge). “Those must be the steps where we’re supposed to talk.”

“Yeah, that’s gotta be the place. Let’s go over there and sit for a few minutes. We’ll be more visible.” The two missionaries walked up and sat on the top step, looking down at the glittering waterway.

“It’s kinda nice, being here at night! Paris is charming!” Elder Collins was trying to put a positive spin on the situation … and he genuinely meant it. It was peaceful, just sitting there thinking and chatting. He took a deep breath, savoring the fragrance of ubiquitous dried leaves.

“It’s pretty warm for October,” Elder Lewis mused, staring up at Notre-Dame.

“It’s a nice night!” Elder Collins replied, also gazing at the iconic edifice. The cathedral was beautiful, looking down upon them, exhibiting all its glory! “Notre-Dame kind of reminds me of a temple, all lit up at night.”

“Well, it’s not a temple, but it is a holy place. I’ve felt the Spirit in there. I can’t even imagine all the faith and sacrifice it took to build it. I read somewhere that it took a couple hundred years.”

“Yeah, and it took about five years to rebuild it.”

“Do you remember the fire? I guess I was too young at the time to pay much attention to it.”

“Yeah, I remember. That’s all Grandpa could talk about back then. It really devastated him.”

“I’ll bet it did.”

“Just before I left, he talked with me about Paris and all the wonderful things to see here. He loved Notre-Dame.”

“I think anyone who’s ever been here has a special feeling for it.”

“Yeah. So, I guess the first few months of his mission were kind of discouraging. They got lots of doors slammed in their faces, and they didn’t have any serious investigators.”

“That sounds familiar.”

“Doesn’t it?” Elder Collins chuckled. “Anyway, Grandpa had apparently gone a long time without feeling the Spirit. On his first Christmas Eve in Paris, they went to Notre-Dame for Midnight Mass. While he was listening to a boys’ choir, he started looking around at the hundreds of devoted French people worshipping the Savior … and he had a profound spiritual experience. He said he felt their hearts and their souls and their faith. From that point on he never stopped loving the French people, French culture, the French language … everything French. He said it was not only a turning point for his mission, it was a turning point for his life. His testimony never wavered again.”

“Wow! That’s cool. No wonder he was devasted when it burned.”

“Yeah.” Both missionaries were quiet for a minute; then Elder Collins said, “I’ve felt the Spirit in there, too.”

“There’ve been lots of prayers in there, lots of sincere worshipping.”

“That reminds me. Grandpa said that while it was burning, the streets around here were filled with French people singing hymns and praying together, mourning their loss, all night long. He said he felt that same profound Spirit all over again, watching it on TV.”

“This really is sacred ground. It’s a place where people come to be with the Lord. In that sense, it’s like a temple.”

“The interesting thing is all the good that came from the fire. Grandpa said that within a week close to a billion euros had been donated to help restore it. And the contributions didn’t just come from rich people; they came from millions of average people, from all over France, all over the world … five euros, ten euros at a time. Everyone came together, and now look at it over there! It’s a wonderful symbol of faith and brotherhood and unity. It’s the tender heart of France!”

“And now it has even more meaning,” Elder Lewis said. “Modern-day people sacrificed to bring it to life again, so I’ll bet they love it even more than they did before the fire.”

“Yeah. I’m sure they do.” Elder Collins was struck with the remarkable realization that much good can come from tragedy and heartache. “Maybe that’s why God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we’d like,” he said. “He just has a wider perspective than we do.”

“You mean, He allows hard things to happen, knowing that in the end much good will come from it.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinkin’. Interesting, isn’t it.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Grandpa said Notre-Dame is more structurally sound now. And it has updated electrical systems, new plumbing, fire sprinklers, and firewalls … everything’s polished and clean. I mean, it’s good for another eight hundred years! Lots of good has come from that fire.”

“I hear Bourges is a really picturesque, medieval city. They even have an amazing cathedral there … but I bet you’re going to miss Paris.”

“Yes, I certainly will! This is a nice way to say goodbye, though. I’m glad we came.” Elder Collins pulled out his phone and took some pictures of the glowing cathedral and the sparkling Seine. “I love it here!” He held up his phone in ‘selfie’ mode and they both leaned in, smiling; the memory of a serene autumn evening in Paris, overlooking the Seine, with a stunning view of Notre-Dame de Paris, had been preserved ….

A few minutes later Elder Lewis shrugged. “Well  … I think we’ve been stood up. Looks like you were right. Thanks for being a good sport!”

“Hey, it’s okay. Like I said, I’ve been lovin’ it!”

“Yeah, me  …” Elder Lewis abruptly arched his back, grabbed his neck, and slumped forward.

“What the  …” Elder Collins seized his companion and looked back … just in time to see a dark figure holding a gun and wearing a ski mask. He felt a stabbing pain on the side of his neck and another on his shoulder. A bolt of fear passed through him like electricity. He was dizzy and weak and ….

Excerpt 6

Rounding a corner, he saw Jacques’ car! It had apparently stopped but was beginning to move again. Mark pressed the pedal to the floor, attempting to crash into the back of the familiar Peugeot. It sped off before he reached it, but he did glimpse two dark figures stumbling through the double doors to Père Lachaise. Stomping on the brake and skidding to a stop, he pulled a flashlight from the glove box and grabbed his Glock from off the seat. In a fit of uncontrolled rage, Mark jumped from his car and tore into the cemetery.

“Did you hear that, Elder Lewis?” In the still of early morning, the screeching sound of Mark’s car skidding to a stop had pierced the cemetery wall.

“Yes, I heard it. He must have seen us! Run Elder!”

With adrenaline pumping through their bodies, the missionaries sprinted deep into the cemetery, dodging all manner of spine-chilling, barely discernable obstacles. The sound of their fleeing footsteps, scratching along graveled pathways, echoed across the eerie, otherwise silent tombscape. Mark darted in their direction, his flashlight blazing through the darkness, revealing a maze of trees, graves, shrubs, chapels, tombs, cobbled paths, memorials, sculptures, benches, and mausoleums. Several minutes into the frightful chase, Elder Lewis spotted a small burial chapel with a half-opened entrance. He ducked into it and Elder Collins followed. Both got a faceful of cobwebs or freshly spun spiderwebs or who knew what! When they shut the creaky door, there was barely enough room for the two of them; but thankfully, it was very dark inside. They had apparently intruded into the bedroom of a huge rat, which scooted around their feet and eventually escaped through an unfortunate gap in the bent-hinged barrier. They were horrified and terrified, straining to squelch heavy breathing, their wildly beating hearts threatening to give them away.