Feelings of the Heart
The stories in Our Beloved encompass many fascinating subjects, including pre-mortality, death and the Spirit World, reunions with loved ones after death, resurrection, deep parental love, heart-breaking loss, revelation, the fulfillment of prophecies, missionary life, the contrast between good and evil, and even some wonderful glimpses of Paris, France.
Periodically I will be posting essays and reflections on these topics and more, and I invite you, my readers, to add your insights and feelings on these significant matters.
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Deep reflection on the rapid passage of time can give rise to poignant emotions and significant perspectives. On Christmas and New Year’s Eves, after all are in bed, I like to explore those meaningful emotions and perspectives in the comfort of my family room chair. The births of each of our seven children were also times of profound thoughts and free-flowing emotions. Arriving home at night, alone, to a house strangely silent and empty, amazed at the day’s joys and miracles, full of love for my sweetheart and our new little one, I always experienced panoramic views of time’s depth and breadth.
So many milestones remind us that our lives are speeding by: weddings, funerals, birthdays, holidays, first days and last days. And there are simple times when such perspectives occur, like a starry summer evening on the patio or a beautiful drive in the mountains. When Jacob, a great Book of Mormon prophet, “began to be old,” he wrote, “… the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream …”(Jacob 7:26). A passage of time moment certainly inspired Jacob’s eloquent expression.
In Our Beloved we follow several people through the years of their lives, exploring their emotions and perspectives, and perhaps discovering that their feelings of the heart shed light on our own journeys through time.
Human beings live a precarious existence. We feel deep love and profound passion. We strive to achieve, to create, and to excel. We have hopes and dreams, and we pursue them with energy, sacrifice, and all our hearts. People, places, and things are precious to us; especially people. Despite normal frustrations and misunderstandings, our families and friends are beloved. Together we share our joys and our sorrows, our triumphs and our failures, our fears and our courage.
And yet, we are mortal. We don’t like to obsess over it, and rightly so! Who wants to live in a dark cloud? But in times of deepest contemplation we remember that our lives, and the lives of all those we cherish, will end. We hope for longevity and tell ourselves that such endings are far in the future; but people seem to catch up with their futures. We also know that accidents, diseases, and acts of violence can snuff out life in a moment’s time.
To face these truths with positivity and faith, many of us seek an eternal perspective. Is there a chance that life transcends mortality? Is there a God in heaven who can make sense of all this? And what about the tragedies and injustices of this world? Will broken hearts finally be mended? Is there a purpose to all our efforts and sorrows? Can we hold on to our joys? Will treasured relationships continue after death?
With so much at stake, it seems that a rational person would at least experiment with prayer and spiritual inquiry, as they are the only apparent sources of enlightenment in these critical matters. But even when we devote ourselves to a study of spiritual truths, and despite our best efforts at faithful living, we are only able to “see through a glass darkly”(1 Corinthians 13:12). I have personally looked into that dark glass and have seen, notwithstanding my many faults, glimpses of heavenly light! Profound feelings and divine inspiration can be experienced while praying, while reading sacred writings, while pondering, and while serving others. They give us hope and comfort, strengthening our courage to move forward despite our “precarious existence.”
Some discount spiritual manifestations, declaring that they are conjured up by our own minds. But many times, when I have least expected a spiritual experience, I have had one. Other times, when I have most expected and wanted a spiritual experience, I have not had one. Thus, though I “see through a glass darkly,” I am convinced that spiritual enlightenment flows from somewhere outside of me. There are abundant and marvelous spiritual realities to be discovered, yet skeptics are apparently unwilling to take a leap of faith and put forth the necessary effort to uncover them.
In Our Beloved I present ultimate good and ultimate evil, side by side, and explore the challenges of choosing between the two. Children are born into this world with a portion of Christ’s light, which grows into a simple awareness of right and wrong. The conscience becomes more sophisticated over time as one matures, reasons, and experiences life. Most of us become genuinely empathetic as sorrows, pains, and struggles soften our hearts. Accordingly, murder, physical or emotional abuse, harming children in any way, lying, stealing, etc. are almost universally thought of as wrong. But the ethics of many other choices and behaviors aren’t so clear. One quandary we all face is whether a particular moral value is cultural, simply someone’s opinion, or truly from God. The dilemma intensifies when a spiritual tenet, professed by scripture or an esteemed religious leader, does not align with our own deep feelings on the matter.
So much violence, manipulation, bigotry, and hypocrisy have been perpetrated in the name of religion, that many have lost all confidence in divine direction. They throw up their arms and conclude there is no absolute right or wrong. Moral relativism has become very popular and can be easily reconciled with a belief that God is nature or some other non-personal force. But how can someone who truly believes in a personal, benevolent, omniscient God determine that there are no absolute moral values? As alluded to above, such a notion may be adopted out of sincere frustration and perplexity; or perhaps it is the only way a person, not understanding Christ’s infinite love and atonement, can soothe a sore conscience.
All that being said, I believe in a personal, benevolent, omniscient God. As we muddle along, choosing right and wrong, He is merciful and forgiving. He is our loving Father, and Jesus is our loving Savior. By virtue of their grace, patience, and forgiveness, each of us will certainly be given every opportunity to figure things out and make our ultimate decisions.
When Jesus was baptized by John in the Jordan River, there was a “voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:17). In 1820, Joseph Smith received a vision in which our Father in Heaven pointed to Jesus and said, This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! (Joseph Smith History 1:17). We cringe when we read the account of Abraham and Isaac, as the Lord said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and … offer him there for a burnt offering …” (Genesis 22:2). These are especially moving accounts of deep parental love. But parents don’t need scriptures to understand the profound affection they have for their sons and daughters. The word “beloved” has powerful meaning to mothers and fathers as they cradle their newborn infants. A new kind of love, overwhelming and unconditional, begins even while a baby is in the womb, and grows each day as the child is nurtured and cared for. Parents labor and sacrifice for their sons and daughters. They yearn for their happiness, success, and well-being. They rejoice in their children’s successes and mourn through their pains and sorrows.
When Lucifer rebelled, “the heavens wept over him – he was Lucifer, a son of the morning. And we beheld, and lo, he is fallen! is fallen, even a son of the morning!” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:26-27). When Absalom, an extremely rebellious son of King David, was killed, his father wept saying, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33). The unconditional love we feel for our beloved sons and daughters is like that. Even when they are hurtful or make serious mistakes, we continue to love them deeply. We weep for them, and we hope for positive change and enlightenment. Certainly, these feelings are dim reflections of Father in Heaven’s bright and infinite love for us.
All mortal parents make mistakes; we have weaknesses and failings. We know we have been less than we could have been. We regret some things we have done, we regret other things we haven’t done, and when our children grow up to be imperfect, we often blame ourselves. What is at the heart of all this? Parents have worries and regrets because we love so intensely.
Because we love, we experience our greatest sorrows. So why do we love? We love because God loves, and we are part of Him. Because we love we learn and grow, we become more disciplined and refined, we become less selfish, and we feel more empathy and compassion. Despite life’s sorrows, our deepest joys, our happiest experiences, our greatest satisfactions, and our dearest hopes all revolve around our beloved ones.
It is my wish that my book, as it explores feelings of the heart, will touch upon matters important to your heart. Perhaps it will stimulate some thought, some hope, or some faith. In my mind, everything depends upon our beloved Savior, Jesus the Christ. I trust Him and I believe in Him. He will heal our broken hearts and erase our emotional scars. He will help us gain wisdom and understanding from all of our earthly experiences. He will truly wipe away our tears (Revelation 21:4). He carries all of my hopes and yearnings to live in happiness with my beloved ones forever.
—Richard B. Scoville
